Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains un-awakened — Anatole France
Fur babies take a special place in our hearts. When it is time to say goodbye to our pets, it is full of heartache, pain, long snuggles, attempts to fill the memory with that special scent, hoping it never leaves us, and horrible, gut-wrenching sobs. All the while thinking,
“Am I doing the right thing?”
“What else could I have done?”
“I can never go through this again.”
My most recent was my hardest. Her name was Coco. She was my baby. A protector and playmate for my children, loving and loyal, always my stalwart companion. A night wasn’t complete without reaching down beside the bed to touch her soft fur one more time to say goodnight before sleep took over.
A legacy of devotion
The memories are many, and the tears still come through the smile which crosses my face when I think of her. She loved our family, and we loved her and still do. I even miss the way she would spill my drink when she would nudge my arm for a pet, and I even miss the tumbleweed of hair floating across the floor that no sweeper could keep up with. But mostly, I miss her eyes. The way she could look into my soul and always know what I was feeling.
I will always remember the day she had puppies. It had only been a few hours when my girls went outside to play. Coco was whining as she paced back and forth from her puppies to the door to see the girls outside. She was so torn where she belonged. Begrudgingly I opened the door where she made a glance back at the pups and then to me, and I knew she was telling me with those eyes, “OK momma, I got the girls you take care of the pups till I come back in.” And away she went, chasing the girls in the play. She trusted me to look after her babies as I trusted her with mine.
She was a fantastic mom to her pups and even took over care of a black lab puppy years later when she joined our family. She would just lay there and let that wiggly, nipping little fur ball climb all over her, and as the years went on, she was the Alpha to that pup. They formed a great bond, often sleeping curled up together on a single dog bed even when there was an empty one nearby. Oreo, our black lab, adored Coco.
All too soon, the last years came to pass, and her health was deteriorating. No longer able to take the stairs to the bedrooms, we made her comfortable on a plush doggie bed. When her hearing was going, we would move her bed into the kitchen when cooking so she could be near us. Our hugs were longer, our good mornings sweeter, and our goodbyes harder.
The day she left me will always be one of the hardest of my life. I have lost family members, gone through a nasty divorce, raised my kids all with her by my side as my constant comfort. Now I was alone.
But mostly I miss her eyes. The way she could look into my soul and always know what I was feeling.
Learning to love again
When we lose our pets, we lose a family member, and it is important to grieve the loss. Their scent, toys, food dishes, and of course, the place in our heart where they live remains. They can not be replaced.
The love we shared with them does not go away. Fortunately, time does show us we can love again, and we begin to think about sharing our lives again.
It has been a few years now, and yes, I have two magnificent dogs I love with all my heart, and regrettably yet thankfully, I am sure I will have many of these same feelings one day as I do about Coco. There are a lot of wonderful canine companions who need our love as much as we need them. I cannot replace Coco. The good ones never can be.
Thankfully the heart never quits expanding to allow for more love to come into our lives, and the next thing we know, we have those same feelings again, we have dog hair on our best clothes, and we smile.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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Photo credit: Trish Mann
The post Why Losing Our Dogs Hurts So Much appeared first on The Good Men Project.